Creativity is my curse. I’m not saying that I would rather not be creative. I just know that creativity has more side effects than I ever imagined. Researchers even say that creative people are more likely to have psychological disorders. I doubt it would get that far with me, but I do notice things that have changed over the years. Here are my top five issues (there are way too many to list) with being creative in no specific order.
- Headaches are more common than not. I feel like my mind has 5983475234967 thoughts per minute. I think about everything imaginable. When I think too much my head spins and it doesn’t go away unless I watch a movie or take a nap.
- Daydreaming is at an all time high. I spend most of my free time wondering about the choices I’ve made or possible outcomes for thought-up scenarios that will probably never even occur.
- Satisfaction seems to be a distant word, make-believe. One of the biggest things I suffer from is thinking about my future. I have come to accept that I will probably not be marrying the “man of my dreams.” (However, I’m absolutely POSITIVE the man I marry will be everything I want in a man minus the unrealistic expectations). This would be somebody who was detailed in romance, somebody who thought about being romantic as much as I do. I dream of a man who wants to express every bit of emotion he has about me in ways that would make me want to tell the world. That’s what I intend to do at least. I dream of having the type of relationship where we both feel
luckyhonored to be with each other. But hey, that’s for the scripted movies and fairy tales. My current boyfriend is pretty freakin’ awesome and he’s not super lovey dovey. But geez, if he was I’d probably be head over heels by now. Probably a good thing he isn’t…. Moving forward!
- Settling is something I am forced to do. I settle for friends who don’t think like me and awkward relationships with some family members who don’t understand me. I settle for simply knowing that people sometimes feel threatened by creative individuals. I have had guys be so intrigued by my mind, only for them to find out that I’m more than they bargained for and leave because they couldn’t “deal” with my thought process (I’m sure I’m not as bad as that sounds).
- Giving has become an obsession. It isn’t the giving part that I have an issue with it is the obsession part. I always think up creative things I can do for people and I find myself always wanting to do more for the people I care about. Only, sometimes I talk myself out of it because some people might think of these gestures as awkward. I have serious urges to do things for people I don’t know (or barely know). During my freshman year in college, I lived in the dorms. On Valentine’s day, I taped valentines cut-outs to every door on my floor saying things like: “You’re beautiful, smile!”
At then end of the day, I love my creativity. If people understood that the reason I do certain things is due to my creativity, living with this trait might be easier. I’ll deal with things though! I like being able to believe in things that others can’t. I like daydreaming because it makes life interesting. I enjoy doing things for others. I love creativity.