I ran across this post after doing some digging online. I shortened the original post, but you can check out the source HERE!
She is becoming worried of [being] late. All her friends agree with her concerns as well. Besides, she is not getting any [younger] by the day. They have been dating for four years now. She thinks it’s time to take the relationship to the next level. Why is he avoiding the topic of getting engaged? Does he have some funny ideas? Is he hiding something? It’s all too worrisome. Why can’t he say directly if something is there? Whenever she brings up the topic of marriage with him, he always has the same answer:
Honey, what we have is perfect. I don’t want to complicate the situation. May be, it’s too soon. I want us to be very sure of what we are getting into. Because once we settle down, there is no turning back. So, let’s wait till we are more confident about this. OK? Trust me.
And that’s how a young lad proceeds to buy time to postpone the inevitable discomforts of being committed or staying locked down or becoming responsible. By demanding and expecting that he has to be very sure before he takes any action: “I have to be very sure. Why do anything if you are not 100% sure? I need some more time”. Depending on how well she can second-guess him, it usually can work 🙂
Wanting to be 100% sure is a very interesting state of mind. It stems from our deep-seated discomfort with uncertainty. As a living thing whose unfortunate fate depends on the decisions we take, it is only reasonable to expect that all our decisions be laboratory-tested, factory-inspected, instant success-guaranteed decisions that mustn’t go wrong. So, we want to be certain. We want to be 100% sure.
The “100% sure” is a state of mind where all conflict is resolved. It’s that momentary confidence when you walk into an ice-cream shop on a hot summer day knowing what flavor you want. It’s that inner voice, the only song that can describe your entire life’s philosophy with stunning accuracy. It’s that non-negotiable certainty with which you want to give her the benefit of doubt even when you have every reason to suspect that she took a huge bite off your cheesecake when you weren’t looking. A “100% sure” moment is that compelling moment of intuitive revelation – you just know it. It’s exactly like being in love. You are just supremely sure. I mean, not that we are sure of the future or anything, we are simply sure that’s it’s all going to be fine. After all, that is the highest form of certification – that’s it’s all going to be fine, even more important than knowing the future.
But how do we get there? No one knows. It just happens. Like love, the “100% sure” state is an emotional event rather than a factual one. It’s a personal thing. Like love, we don’t know if it’s ever going to happen. It’s totally out of our control. We will never know if we are ever going to be “100% sure” about anything. So, the probability of being “100% sure” is actually less than 100%. Irony. Huh?
Like a true romantic waiting to meet the perfect love, we are willing to wait any longer and try as harder to be “100% sure” about our decisions. We are ready to think, analyze, deconstruct, compare, optimize, crystallize, examine, investigate, scrutinize, probe, dissect and after getting really tired after doing all these, we are ready to even sleep over the problem.
All the while, we hope that one day if we think hard enough, if we wait long enough, may be time will reveal the right thing. Huh?