I don’t have it anymore. The Patience. The single most important aspect of learning another person. The difference between a thought and a headache. I lost it. The Patience. Somewhere in between his talking down about others but thinking so highly of himself. Somewhere along the lines of him “falling for” or “trying to love” somebody regardless of their flaws but he was ignorant to his own. I can’t find it. The Patience. It fell through the cracks of his hands that were the same size as mine like his height that was not ideal, but I never said these things because they didn’t matter as much as his heart. It fell through the cracks of his lips when he called me a bitch, twice. It’s missing. The Patience. It ran away with the lack of affection as his desires took center stage although I never wanted them. It went away when my words meant nothing because he wasn’t listening to me but to my body instead. It vanished. So quickly, so fast it was nowhere to be found because I used it up. I used up all I had waiting to be his only but it was never an intention of his.
I don’t have it anymore. The Patience.
So I leave.