To Him…

I am emotional and attention seeking.

I am unreasonable and always fleeing.

I am irrational, moody, and I’m always worried about the wrong thing.

I am lacking confidence in us and to him it is constantly draining.

I am negative more than not and only see things my way.

I am displeased and you can tell it by the faces I display.

I am dramatic, torn and completely misguided.

I am opposing, immature, and frequently undecided.

To him, I am a crazy mess with each of these traits.

I am like a never-ending broken record… a system- no updates.

I’d like to be somebody worth showing unconditional love,

But with him that is something I will always fall short of.

Where’d it go?

I used to have this deep passion to write and express my feelings. It’s true that I do have a lot more on my plate now in graduate school than I did during my time as an undergraduate student, however, something is missing. I find myself spending my free time examining things that don’t need my attention. I find myself sleeping instead of daydreaming. I don’t want to live like this. I’m currently surrounded by some Soothe&Sleep bubbles (via Dr Teal’s Lavender Foaming Bath), and I have a glass of wine sitting on my bath pillow that I’m balancing with my knees because I don’t belive I truly trust the inflatable pillow (wine wasn’t meant to waste). I’m thinking I should spill some emotion on paper… or on here…like I used to. Although some people in my life say I’m too emotional… and that has sucked the passion from flowing out of my fingertips. I’m sad.

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